Healing after Domestic Abuse and Trauma: Reprogram Your Mind with Positive Affirmations

by Sebastine Foster July 05, 2018

Domestic abuse and trauma, while extremely painful and debilitating, can serve as a catalyst for incredible change. If you allow it, your painful experiences have the potential to motivate you towards strength and positive transformation. However, as a recent survivor, I know all too well that healing after domestic violence is challenging. It is difficult to peel through the many layers of pain; not to mention the immense amounts of shame and guilt. Guilt that you stayed with someone who hurt you. Guilt that you hurt other people by staying. Guilt that you hurt other people by leaving. Guilt for going back. Guilt for not going back. Guilt for being strong and standing your ground. Guilt for being gullible and weak. Lacking self-compassion, you continue to beat yourself up about what has happened to you.

One of the most important tasks on your healing path is to reprogram your subconscious mind. Your mind has undoubtedly been affected by the brutal words and actions of the abuser. You may experience negative, self-defeating thoughts in the aftermath as your mind continues to do the job of the abuser. The lingering effects of the psychological and physical abuse can impair you long after the abuse has ended, resulting in self-sabotage and preventing you from embracing the power you possess to heal and rebuild your life.

To combat these negative thoughts, you must literally retrain your brain. You must flood your subconscious mind with positive thoughts to overtake your inner critic. One of the most powerful ways to accomplish this is through the implementation of a system of daily positive affirmations. According to Louise Hay, doing affirmations means, "consciously choosing words that will either help eliminate something from your life or help create something new in your life". When you consistently say affirmations, you are telling your subconscious mind that you are taking responsibility for your thoughts and ability to change.

You should tailor your affirmations to target a particular wound or insecurity created by the abuse. For instance, if the abuser has consistently attempted to convince you that you are stupid or incompetent, you could use positive affirmations to gently disrupt any pattern of thought or ruminating by replacing the toxic thought with a more loving one. When those negative thoughts and emotions arise, simply notice it and affirm, "I am intelligent, I am capable, I am competent".

Supercharge your affirmations by stating them in the mirror. Mirror work is an effective method to plant healing thoughts and ideas in your subconscious mind. It is also one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself. The more you use mirrors to affirm yourself during the healing process, the more you will learn to love yourself and embrace the journey. You can also record all of your positive affirmations with a voice recorder and listen to them daily. Hearing yourself repeating these affirmations is a powerful way to rewire your narrative and banish the voice of the abuser from your mind.

Proverbs 29:18 (KJV)
Where there is no vision, the people perish.

During this process, it's imperative that you "keep your vision in front of you" to consistently remind you of what it is you are striving and believing for. For example, you could buy and make scripture art (check out this gorgeous print from TwoBrushesDesign) and place them all over your house. Write your affirmations on post-it notes and place them on your bathroom mirror or desk at work. Every time you see these reminders, you are moving towards your goal. Affirmation bracelets are excellent tools to help strengthen your faith and help you move closer to your vision. With affirmations bracelets, your mantras are always with you. Get a reminder or pick me up by simply glancing down at your wrist.

the joy of the lord is my strength print

The Joy of the Lord Is My Strength Print by TwoBrushesDesign

create your own custom affirmation bracelets for domestic violence survivors and victims
Custom Affirmation Bracelets

The residual effects of abuse can be frustrating and there may be a time when you will question whether or not something is wrong with you or if you are doing the right thing. However, understand that berating and being down on yourself will only take you backward in your healing. Always remember to be patient, loving, and kind towards yourself. You've been through enough. It is now your duty to take care of you. I won't happen overnight, but if you take things one day at a time, stay consistent, and learn love yourself in the process; you WILL heal.

See below for a list of affirmations to get you started. Have more to add to the list? Leave them in a comment below!

Affirmations for Domestic Abuse Survivors

I am safe, supported, and protected
I am bold an courageous
I grow stronger and stronger each day
I let go of fear and doubt
I step boldly into my future
I am on the right path
I have unlimited potential
I have the power to achieve all of my goals
I deserve the very best life has to offer
I deserve to be happy, healthy, and successful
My future is what I choose it to be
I am exactly where I need to be at this moment
The universe has my back
I am a warrior
I am a survivor
I can channel my crisis into transformation
It is my right to have healthy, safe, respectful relationships
I create only healthy relationships
It is my right to express my emotions
I trust myself
I love and accept myself exactly as I am
I am willing to see my own magnificence
Everything I seek can be found within
I practice self-care
I forgive myself and set myself free
I am open to self-improvement
All is well in my world
I am healthy and full of energy
I have a terrific mind
I am willing to learn and try new things
I welcome new wisdom every day
I am competent, smart, and able
I am beautiful inside and out
I am valuable
I am worthy
I am victorious

Healing after Domestic Abuse and Trauma: Reprogram Your Mind with Positive Affirmations

Affirmations for Domestic Abuse Survivors

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